A true story from inside Brain Headquarters of BodyCo.
It started on a Monday morning — of course it did.
Ms. Hypothalamus, the CEO of BodyCo., had just sat down with her herbal tea (chamomile, not coffee, she knows better) when the red light flashed on her Stress Dashboard.
ALERT: perceived threat detected.
The source? A last-minute deadline, three missed meals, and a full inbox marked “urgent.”
Enter the HPA Axis: The Crisis Team
“Get me Ms. Pituitary!” the CEO barked.
Within seconds, Ms. Pituitary’s headset crackled.
“Ma’am, I’ve got the file labeled ‘Threat Response Protocol.’ Should I send the ACTH memos?”
“Send them now,” said Hypothalamus. “Tell the Adrenal Department to activate cortisol output immediately. We’re going into survival mode.”
The Adrenal Department
Down in the Stress & Emergency Division, the Adrenal Cortex jumped into action.
Cortisol shipments were dispatched throughout the company.
- The Liver got orders to release extra glucose.
- Muscle staff broke down a few protein reserves for fuel.
- The Immune Team got a “stand by” notice putting healing and repair on hold.
- The Heart cranked up circulation.
- The Brain sharpened focus (and, unfortunately, anxiety).
Every department was on high alert.
Several Hours Later…
By lunchtime, the crisis was still running. Cortisol was pouring out like caffeine at a board meeting. Ms. Hypothalamus frowned. She knew this was not sustainable.
“Pituitary,” she said, “we can’t keep this up. Call the adrenals off.”
But Ms. Pituitary looked at her inbox. It was full of new stress memos from the
limbic system. Emotions were in overdrive.
“Sorry, ma’am. The system’s looped. They think the crisis is still happening.”
The Spike Becomes a Spiral
By mid-afternoon, the Great Cortisol Spike of 2025 was in full swing.
Everyone at BodyCo was jittery. Blood sugar up, immune staff yawning, digestion department filing a complaint.
HR (the serotonin division) sent a memo titled “We’re not okay.”
Finally, a hero emerged, Mr. Hippocampus, the memory manager.
He walked straight into the CEO’s office and said,
“Ma’am, I just checked and the threat is imaginary. You’re reacting to emails.”
There was silence.
The Resolution
Ms. Hypothalamus sighed and leaned back. “Alright, everyone stand down. Pituitary, cancel the ACTH memos. Adrenals, cut cortisol production by half. Let’s activate the Parasympathetic Department and tell them it’s time for deep breathing and a walk.”
Gradually, the lights dimmed, the dashboards calmed, and BodyCo returned to baseline.
The Heart slowed its beat, the Gut went back to work, and the Immune Team came out of hiding.
Moral of the Story
The Great Cortisol Spike of 2025 taught everyone at BodyCo an important lesson:
“Not every alarm is a real emergency.”
The CEO and her PA now schedule daily calm meetings, gentle exercise, real meals, and a strict “no emails after 8 p.m.” policy.
And thanks to that, BodyCo runs smoothly again, at least until the next deadline.
Behind the Scenes: The Real Cortisol Loop
- The HPA axis (Hypothalamus → Pituitary → Adrenal cortex) is your body’s crisis-management team.
- When you perceive stress, the hypothalamus releases CRH, telling the pituitary to send ACTH to the adrenals.
- The adrenals release cortisol, which:
- Raises blood glucose by freeing stored energy.
- Diverts blood from digestion to muscles and brain.
- Temporarily suppresses immunity and inflammation.
- Once the crisis passes, cortisol itself feeds back to the hypothalamus and pituitary, saying, “We’re good — stand down.”
If stress signals keep coming (real or imagined), the loop can’t shut off. That’s when fatigue, insulin resistance, anxiety, or immune suppression creep in.
Cortisol is brilliant in short bursts; it saves your life. But in long meetings, it hijacks the company.